Our Garden Ave Green Duplex Neighborhood

This is a site designed for neighbors to voice their opinions and express themselves via their phone or tablet, or even laptop or desktop, via the regular Web Internet.

Please NO RACIAL SLURS, PROFILING, ACCUSATIONS, NEGATIVITY, OR ILLEGAL ACTIVITY To Be Posted On This Neighborhood Blog designed with keeping all members happy and heard.

A Quick Rundown of My "Protocol" for Treating Morgellons

Okay, I have talked about it enough, but it is finally time to share something rather than just hint at it as a future "entry to come." I need to get it out and share it, and as I continue the protocol, I can continue to share my photographs and outcome.

First, you have to accept that there is a definite mind-body connection. Positive thoughts lead to positive lives. Negative people tend to get sicker and have a shorter life span than people who have a love for life and a reason to live. Makes sense, right?

It is very easy to get depressed and isolated when one has Morgellons, or Unexplained Dermopathy, or any medical condition that no doctor can diagnose, properly treat, or even possibly give one the hope that there is even a cure out there! As far as we all know, most doctors simply think of us as "crazy" or "it's just in our heads" ... without even looking or examining us as patients! So many Morgellons patients are referred either to dermatologists, who are no better help, or psychiatrists, who will willingly prescribe antidepressants, anti-psychotics, or anti-itching medicine, and even sometimes antibiotics, if the "infection" and lesions appear on the face and are visible immediately to the doctor and you as the patient genuinely convince the doctor you are not just "picking your face" like they think. I do not pick at my face at all, but I have the marks, scabs, and bloody pores that are obvious to me that they are connected, but not to just a simple observer like a doctor or even just a housemate. It had gotten to the point no one was really talking to me at all in my own house, where I rent a room, and there are other tenants, each with their own room. However, my room is especially large, so there are two other beds in it for potentially three of us females living in one room. But this is a transitional house, so it is meant only for temporary staying anyway.

So, for quite a while I have taken photographs, collected samples, and shown my symptoms to family and a very select handful or less of other people that live with me in this house. I already feel stigmatized by the name "Morgellons Disease" because immediately if I say that is what I have, anyone could look it up on the Internet and see that it is connected to Delusional Parasitosis (DP), which may be a true label for some sufferers, but definitely NOT all of us, or even most of us.

This is a very real and scary medical condition that is the result of some sort of relative to the arachnid family of "bugs" - although I hate to use the term "bug" to describe this parasite. It actually IS a parasite, and it is something that burrows into the skin, eating dead skin or dead tissue, and usually our immune systems can compensate and keep us from suffering these mite-like creatures for long, and in the past, it was always referred to as a "childhood disease" because children tend to have weaker immune systems than adults.

When an immune system is compromised or weakened, most often by extreme stress, which I have found to be in almost every single person's account of when they began to feel these symptoms, whether it be on support groups or message boards or websites that individuals have made for other people with the same disorder, since no doctor is willing to really step up and call for real research and recognition. Most doctors are "in-and-out" docs: they have their assistants take down the patient's symptoms (and I have noticed that some barely copy down a couple or so of anything I list for them, in my own experience), then they come in for a brief reading of the notes the assistant made, glance at the patient (me), and then refer the patient to someone else or write a prescription without even looking at the lesions, or asking for labwork to be done! They literally spend an average of like, 12 minutes with any patient, while the patient waits hours in the waiting room or has spent combined hours and literal days waiting in all the doctors they try to get a diagnoses from!

So there it is: it's a parasite that burrows into the skin. I had come to this conclusion myself, but read a recent comment made by a person on one of my recent blog posts, which actually confirmed my thoughts, so I felt it was time I shared my thoughts with the world via this blog.

I suspected it to be some sort of "mite"-like creature, because it seemed that when I showered or bathed, there would be obvious debris in the bathtub floating around as evidence. Also, while picking at sores or lesions is discouraged, and I try never to do, I have spent time using medical gloves and sterilized tweezers to extract something really small, but black, and if I got it completely out, the site where it was holding onto me would bleed profusely. Otherwise I would only end up hurting myself with the tweezers trying to find it. That can lead to obsessive-compulsive behavior, which has led me many times to think maybe I was going mad after all, and that I was doing this to myself. That is why I began the photographs and evidence collecting: simply to prove to myself I wasn't crazy!

How does one treat this? Well, as of now, there is no real "cure," but there are many ways to strengthen the immune system into being strong enough to kill it off and no longer be "infected." This is what I did on my own before I even knew it was a real condition with a cause, which I got via my brother, who is a CMT & Reiki specialist, and had read about this on the Internet.

I had been drawn to drinking white grapefruit juice and water almost exclusively. I don't know why, but I can say that white grapefruit juice has a lot of vitamin-C, which boosts the immune system and is an anti-oxidant, and it also contains citric acid, which sort of causes my system to be a little acidic overall by the vast amounts of this un-sweetened juice I can consume daily. I literally crave it, and I never really understood why, but I think the difference in my body's Ph balance makes my body overall a less hospitable "home" to these creatures that are living off of my dead skin cells and debris! Isn't that just disgusting?

Some people focus too much on the "fibers" that they find coming out of their skin, whether they be blue, orange, red, or white, that's not the point. I think too much focus is on those fibers and not on the cause, which is why the source has been so hugely overlooked by the medical community at large. Patients often collect "samples" of these fibers exclusively, sending them to independent labs accepting "Morgellons Disease samples" for private research, thinking that these are the root of their problems. Somehow I always knew that these fiber-like materials were just some sort of "debris" or "excrement" left by these things that I had suspected to be related to ticks or mites. I guess I thought it was like regurgitated skin cells, or even other matter combined with my skin cells that the thing could very rapidly eat and expel, almost instantly, it seems! How crazy does that sound?

I have spent hours seeing these black specks "burrow" into my skin, and where they burrow, if I run some sort of cloth or tissue paper over it to try to get it off or out of me, there is instantly some sort of fiber that appears sometimes at a location or pore somewhere inches away, or even on the other side of where I was rubbing the spot, usually with medicated cotton or toilet paper at first. By medicated, I mean with hydrogen peroxide or astringent or even benzyl peroxide acne medication. At first I was using Tea Tree Oil astringent rollers, but this seemed to spread it on my face.

Since my fingernails were becoming weaker, I began to almost always wear fake nails, and this would be how I would be able to grip something, as my own fingernails seemed to stop growing. When there were lesions appearing on my legs, I also thought they were simply ingrown hairs, and by examining them with my fingernails, perhaps I had transferred a fungal infection from the nails to my skin on my legs and had a fungal infection, combined with staph or MRSA, an infection I have had before and know to not be killed but just put into a dormant state, and can come back at any time there is a cut or infection.

I also began to eat exclusively raw food, I noticed, almost exclusively. Now I do exclusively eat raw vegetarian (mostly vegan) food, and I only eat: granola (fiber, protein, vitamins), cultured yogurt (probiotics), berries of all types (raw and fresh are best, but I also consume dried cranberries or dried fruit if I can't afford the fresh ones, like raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, etc. - which are very high in vitamin C and anti-oxidants as well, another immune-booster), and that white grapefruit juice. I do not drink ruby red grapefruit juice at all if that is the only grapefruit juice option. I'd rather drink orange juice or spring water, and for a while I was drinking Kombucha tea, which also is probiotic, but I stopped that months ago. My body just stopped wanting it. I learned to listen to my body and what it wants.

So sometimes I will add agave nectar to the mix of berries, yogurt, and granola, as a "treat" or I'll add cinnamon, or lately, turmeric! Which sounds gross, but I love the hell out of turmeric, and when I was eating cooked food, I put it on almost everything. I also am a vegetarian to begin with, but other than yogurt or kefir, I mainly crave a vegan diet now. Organic is very important but I also know is more expensive and I do the best I can.

I've tried antibiotics, antibiotic cremes & gels, and anti-fungals medicines and cremes. I stopped wearing the fake nails about a month ago or more. I noticed then that I had some sort of something living under my nails, as short as they are naturally now. I believe that Morgellons is not simply one infection of one parasite or type of pathogen either. I think it is a multi-faceted infectious process that simply overcomes our immune systems when stressed.

I have realized through trial and error, that HibiClens is very effective if left on the skin (which is against the label's warning, and it is labeled to contact a poison control center and seek medical attention immediately if ingested, so I cannot endorse or support this method, but it does kill many types of pathogens, both microbial and microbiotic). Recently my doctor prescribed Chlyndamicin gel, and this seems to kill them as well. I have also taken to wearing silver bandages, using silver gel, or ingesting hydrosol silver like Sovereign Silver, available at places like WholeFoods or a local Co-Op (now I am on Molecular Silver, which is a slightly different form), as silver seems to kill or repel many things as well.

For a while I kept this infection under control using charcoal-based exfoliation bath scubs, or charcoal-based soap. Charcoal draws and absorbs dead skin cells and other debris from the skin so it made sense to me to use this to draw the "black specks" as I had once just referred to them, out towards the surface of my skin where I could then follow with a colloidal silver soap wash to kill. Unfortunately, one of my housemates threw my special charcoal and silver soaps into the trash, because at some point two females here have come to the conclusion if they harass me enough, I will move out. They know either I am infected with something they are afraid of catching, or they think it is a drug-induced "skin-picking" disorder. Their ignorance actually set me back and led to an outbreak and spreading of the symptoms to my hands and lower legs, when I had it successfully contained to a smaller area on my face and upper thighs only.

Anyway, I want to post some photos now to accompany some of what I have typed, and it is late, so I am going to bed, which is vital to the healing process: REST. SLEEP AND REST. So, I guess I will continue going over the treatment protocol that I am finding to be successful FINALLY in killing off these things and keeping my immune system strong enough to keep them away. No one else in this house has it, so I believe that it is because their immune systems are not compromised like mine is. Once it is strong enough, like theirs, I will be okay.

Feeling and Looking Better!

This is what I did this weekend, beginning with a phone call on Saturday, March 13, 2010, made to my mom, to tell her about the rapid improvement I had been seeing since the night before and had been dealing with the cleaning up of the "Morgellons" dead waste as my body began to finally overcome it and discharge the dead toxic material left behind.

I told my mother how thankful I am for everything that both parents have put up with and supported me through. I think the lesson here is GRATITUDE - something that for some of us is a topic that makes us groan with the thought, "Not that again!"

But really, it takes being extremely ill and unable to really handle anything to make a person grateful for life, and just the beauty and prana in each breath we take.

I believe my "Unexplained Dermopathy" AKA "Morgellons" disorder (I still do not believe it to be a disease, literally, but more a combination of things hitting us due to a compromised immune system due to stress and isolation. When we cut ourselves off from the ones that love us, or we shut the door on the face of those who have once supported us but now question us just because a "doctor" cannot pinpoint an exactly perfect diagnoses to rationalize or justify needing all this bedrest and just simple understanding and love, it causes our bodies to become unbalanced, because our minds and bodies are connected.

This is no new science. Ayurvedic teachings have long since supported the theory that one can "cure" all ailments by balancing their tri-doshas (see this simple website explanation to get started...), which are simply put: our body's systems along with their mental state and attitude in a combined look and balance. I noticed I had unconsciously been changing my diet and when I stopped to listen to my instincts regarding how to "cure/heal myself" - and it took me finally doing the last act of balancing my mind and thoughts with a positive note to finally realize how simple it is to recover from even a n illness with no known cure, let alone a "name" that is officially recognized by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) in Atlanta. Check that link for why I don't like to use the word "Morgellons" -- it is a "catch-all" name for a variety of illnesses with the same cause, but not the same root. Does that make sense?

I am  going to take some time to show my gratitude to everyone who has been by my side before I post the photos and more detailed information on how I overcame this illness. which really is a most horrible condition that easily sounds like science fiction to a delusional nightmare.

Namaste! Blessings to all, and for those who want a quickly listed cure and fix, I must warn you, this is a multi-faceted illness that doctors cannot cure without our own mental health being addressed and supported.

Hope, Finally!

I visited my new doctor, Dr. Snipes, in Oakland, CA, and he is the first doctor to allow me to show him the lesions and affected areas on my entire body (well, not ENTIRELY, but nothing private). Most doctors, clinics, dermatologists, or nurses I have visited to get  a diagnoses do not even look at the lesions or sores, run any labwork, or even take me seriously. When it got to my face, two of my other housemates immediately began to suspect I was picking at my face in the bathroom we share, especially since I can spend hours in there.

But what I am actually doing is washing and cleaning myself, applying fresh silver-lined bandages (it takes a lot!), and cleaning up the debris and strange residue that is always left behind in the bathtub after a detox bath or shower. The amount of strange things that come out of my body is surreal, and I can only show photos to prove it. And even these are disturbing to me.

I had neglected this blog for too long, since the facial wounds and scarring cannot be covered with make-up, so people often stare at my face and look away. I have long since stopped caring about what other people think, and lately, I have started to even stop caring about what I think about my own self as well.

However, yesterday I saw my new doctor at the clinic in north Oakland that I visit, which as a few doctors, one physician's  assistant (PA), a registered nurse practitioner (RNP), and medical students doing their field work hours and practice by doing the intake paperwork, taking blood pressure, pulse, and making sure all documentation is up to date. I've seen several doctors come and go, but they all work under Dr. H. G. Watson, son of James A. Watson, who founded the James A. Watson Wellness Center (JAWWC), which takes every kind of insurance, and even non-insured patients who are indigent get free County Medical coverage under the CMSP insurance plan.

A new doctor, a young, caring man named Dr. Snipes began working there within the last 3 or so months. I always make my appointments with him now, since he is the first doctor to physically examine my symptoms, lesions, disgusting  debris, and he listened patiently to my entire description of the things I have to suffer on a daily basis due to this condition, and he takes me very seriously. This is so refreshing! He is also the first to order any type of labwork, and he wants to see the photos I have taken over the last 4 months documenting various stages of this condition. He actually wants to see the samples I have collected as well as any video I took with my cell phone of things "migrating" under my skin, visibly. No one else has shown any interest and has given me a diagnoses just listening to my summary before cutting me off and referring me to someone else.

He also was the one to recommend HibiClens, a surgical hand wash and prep wash with really strong antimicrobial and antiseptic actions, and this over the counter cleaner has really helped more than anything else, except for the various forms of silver antibiotic treatments. My fever also broke today and most of the "Morgellons" (what I call the pathogen, whatever it is. I do not know if it is bacterial, fungal, viral, a syndrome, or condition, but I do know what the pathogen looks like), and my body purged a lot of this crap out of my skin. It was a long night, and I still need to get to bed, but I am inspired and feeling so much better, finally able to think clearly and felt the need to share this moment with others.

I now am positive what the cause of the disorder/syndrome/condition is. This image shows one of the burrowing "parasites" that I killed and extracted once it was expelled from my skin naturally, after using a heavy repeated rubbing of HibiClens onto the affected areas. I used to be so hot all the time but finally feel normal temperature and even can feel the cold again. I believe I figured out a few weaknesses I can exploit to purge my system of this parasite infection permanently, which gave me hope and motivation to live again, after spending a long time in a depressed, irritable, and isolated state, unable to prove my opinion on what was living in my skin and how it behaves, to anyone.

I am going to sleep now after spending about 12 hours working on cleaning all the dead material and pathogens that my body began to expel after fever waves and chills that finally broke. I will continue this post when I get some rest.

This photo was taken to show the dead debris being expelled from an area I didn't know was even affected! And notice the tell-tale white thick "string" (not a word I would use, but is used often by other patients) sticking out of a hole. This thing actually runs under my skin for  several inches, all zig-zagged, creating this pock-mark effect that only appears when my skin is expelling massive amounts of dead debris.

But for those of you that have the Morgellons in their skin, I want to say: THERE IS HOPE. THERE WILL BE A CURE. Stay tuned!

So I Begin Thinking I am Crazy...

I mean, if this disease is real, it is really state of the art science or bio-genetic engineering. I am taking the really potent Silver Hydrol product "Sovereign Silver," and within hours, I feel a systemic reaction to the taking of the silver orally, which used to be the first line of defense before anti-biotics were invented. It is interesting to have to return to it.

Because of the physical debris now physically evident all over and that the silver is doing something, I go to bed.

I couldn't get out of bed for the next 2 days.

I felt so weak. I went out for a bike ride to the bank and that took up all my energy for the entire Saturday. So I took my medicine and went to bed. For the record I am some kind of neurotic freak sometimes, as so far as I really believe without medication I cannot ever again get any kind of sleep. I always seem to have endless insomnia. I was never diagnosed as bipolar, but I have had diagnoses of Anxiety Disorder and adult ADHD, Which really just means I double triple check everything, and I need to know for sure before I believe. I don't trust information just sitting there, exposed in some magazine ad or something, because there are so many faked ads with fake "results" and "testimonials" that were all questionable. I need to see it, experience it, taste it, feel it, hear it kind of person,. Be up all over that and learn everything about that thing that I for that moment have my attention on.

So this first entry is a little weird. I have come to accept I have Morgellons Disease, but I am not accepting the definition that it gets catorgorized with: the mental illness part, where you more or less tweak and think there's bugs or nano-bots in your skin. The mental illness part is called somehing like parasitis imaginereous or something. Anyway (it's all in your head). Or is it anymore?

I think it is fair to say that I am taking an amphetamine-based medication called Vyvanse, for my ADHD symptoms, so right away, I go to think: "Tweaker." And I didn't tell anyone about my symptoms until the holidays when I was with my family. It was the mentioning of the fibers and the sores, my mom scoured the Internet for dermapathy labels and libraries, that Ryan, my younger brother, diagnoses because he has a equally rare and misunderstood and understudied disease called chiari's malformation, which he suffers great pain and his whole life revolves about avoiding painful positions where the spinal fluid has adequate space to pass due to the brain leak down almost out of the skull, which for some reasons doesn't grow the correct length for some unknown reason. There is no known cure for that, nor for Morgellons Disease, I hear. Or Morgellons Syndrome as it is also known and how this blog will be known.

I began getting the symptoms where I thought I was getting ingrown hairs all over my thighs for some reason, and it was weird, I tried to pull the ingrown hair out so the infection can go away and my immune system isn't over-reacting fulltime to combat these alien parasites, whatever they are.

I certainly would love to be able to go see a specialist about this, but while I am trying to find one that take Medicare. Yeah, I am 31 years old, female, and white, and I am on social security disability due to degenerative joint/disc disease, which I have the paperwork for that, based on an MRI on my neck's cervical pieces were degenerating so they were about to slip out and it was even a surgery issue at one point but they determined that it something actually looks like it has stabilized for now. I also am on SSI, which I get for having panic attacks in public places being confined, or something stupid and idiot about me. But hey, I am honest.

So I have a college education - a nice Bachelors of Science for Computer Science. I went to Georgia Tech the first two years and then I withdrew from there, or basically flunked my way out of that school after a first year make Dean's List for my academic record, and it was published in the paper, and I guess there is something special about them or something maybe I can't see that the author does.